Sorting the RD2L captains into their proper places
Gryffindor — Gryffindors don’t skip leg day
Wit — Muscles for brains
Insane Corndog — With the rest of the crazies
Slytherin — The favorite house of economists, politicians, and residents of the Florida Everglades
Envi — Green with Slytherin
Dante’s Infero — We are all probably going to hell anyways
Ravenclaw — Home of academics, Bernie fans, and the liberal media
Bearcat — Can only play viper, viper has wings, therefore Ravenclaw
Below Average Lubu — At least you’re not in Hufflepuff
Hufflepuff — Ponzi scheme victims, wall street bets and crypto bros unite!
Trav2s — As Hufflepuff as it gets
Fortheboys — Style mid is the biggest fraud of them all
Roman — Picking Econ to go mid when you have Pishtya on your team is giga Hufflepuff
Azkaban — The sorting hat has had enough of your shit
Bonk — Arrested for performing inappropriate acts with a Puffskein after inhaling Floo powder
The White House — 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Wizard of Chaos — After the aliens from planet Nibiru invade, Americans elect Wizard of Chaos to lead the mostly free if you ignore the sweatshops world. He reaches a peace deal with the aliens and hands over Bonk as a sign of good will.
Princess — After the end of Wizard of Chaos’ term, Princess is left dealing with the aftermath as the aliens from Nibiru demand earthlings take Bonk back. Spoiler alert: we don’t take Bonk back.
Treebeard — Like the secretary of the Interior; nobody knows what this guy actually does.
House of the Dragon — Players whose descendants are prime candidates for being stabbed by Jon Snow.
House Hunters — Another name for hobos